Leading up to my free White Paper, How to Make an Unforgettable Impression on Stage, today’s VoCalling subject will be, well, that. Not to change who you are, but to utilize some of your own magic and magnetism to accomplish your goals.
As promised in Part 1, here is the LOVE ME acronym for creating a likeable, lovable, magnetic, confident first impression!
Not good meaning “fashionable,” “conservative,” or “sexy.” Look good in a way that will make YOU feel confident. Your clothes are clean, together, and fit well. Your hair looks good, your teeth are brushed, your shoes aren’t scuffed up. Take the time to look good in a way that makes you feel really comfortable in your own skin.
Not obnoxiously early. Five to ten minutes early. Or right on time. Unless it’s a social event, in which case being 10-15 minutes late is more considerate than being on time.
Your voice and how you use it can have a big impact. Be very aware of it in new situations where you’re uncomfortable or out of your element. That’s when you’re most likely to speak too loudly, too softly, too much, or too little. You have immense power to put someone at ease by using a voice that is relaxed and easily heard, and steering a conversation that is balanced in the other person’s favor. In other words, ask about them and listen as they talk. It puts people at ease and makes them like you.
GOOD: looking at someone’s face when they’re speaking, looking at their face (or faces) most of the time you’re speaking.
BAD: boring into their skulls with your laser vision, looking away a lot, or darting eyes. You may need practice this.
Meeting someone new is THE time you do all those things your mother taught you. Say please and thank-you, take what is offered (even if you don’t want it), ask about the other person, pull out the chair, open the door, remember their name, don’t interrupt; you know…all the stuff you probably already know but don’t always choose to implement. Showing that you have good manners goes a really long way toward making a good impression. I can personally guarantee that you’ll see the results of your efforts in this category immediately.
This is the coolest point.
Whenever you meet someone new and you make it your job to be responsible for their comfort level, you will be unflappable. Read their body language, try to assess what they’re feeling, figure out what kind of person you’re talking to. The more into yourself you are, the more nervous and unsure you’ll be. The more into the other person you are, the more confident you will be. Begin the interaction thinking, “it’s my job to make you comfortable.” Try it. Even imagining it help you understand the kind of power social empathy gives you.
Think LOVE ME, and they will!